Last Thursday I nursed Brooke for the last time. She’s moved on…she can go nuh-night without it now. She’s a big girl now. We had been breastfeeding over 16 months…there was a time I hoped we could make it a month!
We went through so many struggles in the beginning…she was in the NICU, slow weight gain, jaundice, not great latch, supply tanked, formula supplements… When she was around 2 months old, she was primarily formula fed and I would pump when I could so she was getting breastmilk too. That was working fine until one day it seems her tummy couldn’t take it anymore. She hadn’t pooped in quite some time and she just cried in pain all.day.long. Luckily my mom was still in town so we could take turns holding my screaming child. Nothing was working…until I got one last idea. I put her to my breast. She was finally consoled.
At that point I decided I would do whatever it took to wearn her from the formula. I pumped 8 to 10 times a day, kept track of every feeding, every diaper until finally she was a primarily breastfed baby again. When I went back to work I pumped 3 to 4 times a day until a week after her 1st birthday so she could still benefit from the breastmilk while at daycare. (Boy did it feel good to finally put that pump away!!!) After her birthday, we dropped to only morning and bedtime feedings. Thanksgiving weekend we dropped the morning session. I had intended to continue until at least her 18 month birthday. As a mom working outside the home, I cherished that bedtime routine. Quiet time with my active, doesn’t-like-to-cuddle toddler. It was something only she and I could share.
But last Thursday, we said goodbye to that routine and a new routine has been born. Thankfully, I still get my bedtime cuddles…